I knew you before
Before the chaos
of the shift to red
Before the plague of 2020
And the years of
trauma and grief.
Before the decade
of becoming Jupiter
and the many moons of children
That orbited us.
Before my life was consumed
By human need.
You came to me in a dream
In between the nightmare
Of almost losing my son
(Again)
And the end of the
Shasta years.
I held you, soft and wispy
in my sleep
And woke to find you
At my door
Solid and frisky.
She called you Indy,
after Indiana,
where you were you found
In an alley
Waiting.
We both hovered in
Liminal space
Until you made your way
Into my arms.
I knew you before
You came home to me.
You were filled with adventure
And craved the great outdoors
I was afraid.
You were brave.
I couldn’t confine you
Your spirit too enormous.
You became our guardian
While the turmoil of our home
Churned
You held the ground
Solid and familiar
Despite moving and change
So
much
change
You were steady
Reliable
A tether to the time before
You tolerated the explosions
The comings and goings
So
Many
Children.
And every night
You came to me
Pressed into my heart
And slowed my breath
Reminded me
Of who I am
Of how I can
dream life into being
Reminded me to
Trust.
Every time
I caught sight of you
Up high
In the light
I felt liberated and wild.
Blinded by your beauty,
Fortified by your pride
I was in awe
of how easy you were
in your own skin
The morning I woke
Trying to muster
the courage to face the day
Someone at the door…
Odd at this hour
I knew
It was you.
Your eyes
Full of fear
Pain
I knew.
The space
You pressed into each night
Sunk into my wobbly legs
and I raced
Ever hopeful
Trying to be brave
Like you
My tough boy
My little man.
I felt you
As you rattled
your last breath
And the decade
of becoming Jupiter
Flashed before my eyes
Too fast
Too furious
And there you were
at every turn
Like a beam
Of golden light.
And light cannot
be held on to
Too tightly.
But I knew you
before.
I met you in the ether
And perhaps
We
Will
Meet
There
Again